...And they wonder why...

Lately I've had people ask me WHY I refuse to stay in the city I was born in.
Well....Here is my explanation....


Ever since I left the state and came back, I've seen plenty people that graduated when I did with KIDS. I mean, don't get me wrong, I once was pregnant. But, it seems like more than 75% of people between the ages of 15-28 have PLENTY kids.


Every time I turn around, I see ANOTHER person having a kid or two. I don't think that makes any sense at all.


On top of that, they're not doing ANYTHING with themselves.


How is that supposed to make everyone else feel who aren't in that predicament??


Sometimes I feel ashamed to tell people that I'm from here. For instance, I visited the mall the other day and there were plenty young people with kids. All I could do was nod my head.


That's all.......Well I DO have more thoughts on it......But for now...THAT IS ALL I WILL SAY...

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There's a Reason why it's called the PAST

So it's a new year.......
But it seems like there's always something coming back from the past...

An ex of mine texts me saying he wants to see me.....Ummm NO THANKS! ...There's just no point.

Another one does the same...Quite frankly, I'm tired of it. This is not the time to try and make things right. When we were together you didn't act right so I had to let you go. Now why on Earth would I back track and talk to you again?

Also, I've been hearing from people I knew from the past. No, I don't want to hang with you, there's no point. You're still the same.

I wish ppl would at least TRY to understand where I'm coming from. I mean, you WEREN'T consistent in the past so what makes you think I want you now?  Speaking to them is just like I kicked a BAD habit, was doing well, and then fell back into my foolish ways. That's only letting them have the opportunity to fuck up again....and woe is me if I allow that to happen.

Hmmm....Another thing on my mind about the past was these past few years, starting from when I graduated from high school. I swear it seems like 2009 was BY FAR the worst year EVER. But I'm learning to let things go.

Car accident/situation- PAST......let go
Ex Boyfriends-PAST...let go
Old friends-PAST...let go
Family problems-PAST ...let go
A "Few" Fears-PAST...let go

Holding onto things and people in the past doesn't help with the FUTURE. So I'm not allowing myself to take steps BACK....I'm only moving FORWARD.

Everytime I write in this blog, I NEVER look back. I don't go and reread it again because there's no point. Everything I wrote was in the PAST and I intend on leaving it there. No further discussions, or anything.

Now...You can take this however you want to...But I'm moving on...You can come WITH or get left BEHIND.....

Blahhhhhhh.....Those are just some thoughts I had........Nothing was prewritten .....

Have a nice day :)

Just b/c....

So some people think they "know" by me now from reading my blogs...


Well THINK AGAIN!.....


Yeah, I do write about a LOT of personal things, but it's NOT my entire life.


So I want to say, JUST B/C you've read an ENTRY or two in this blog, DOESN'T mean anything....


You STILL don't know me.....You just have a better insight of where I'm coming from....


Toodles....

Been Gone...

So I've been away for a while...

I've had a little time to reflect on some things....

There's been LESS dramam than usual and I can HONESTLY say that things may be getting better :)  ...

THAT'S ALL! LOL

It is, What it is

So I was speaking to someone a while ago about fathers. Hmm....This was very interesting.

He asked about my father. I said he is nothing but a SPERM DONOR and that's it. He has done nothing. The last time I seen him was the day I graduated from high school and before that, it was like when I was 14 or something.

So my friend says that well he has no excuse. BUT, his dad does, he's in jail. That's no damn excuse! You knew you had kids so why the hell would you do something bad to jeopardize things?

I mean my father is NO good but, what makes yours any better?

My father lives in the SAME city I lived in for 19 years of my life. He has other children that he sees! But I barely see him. He's a half stepping ass father!

I remember a time when he tried to tell me what to do. All that ran through my head was, WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO.

What makes things even worse is that he KNOWS my family and where my mom works at. So if he wanted to get in contact with me, it would be NO problem.

Once he asked my mom why I don't contact him or anything. Why should I?? The damn phone works BOTH ways.


So that's why I don't want kids at this time, I wouldn't want my kids to go through that bullshit. I mean it's VERY common these days. Most guys did it to themselves and have no reason to complain when they get called names.

So what I'm basically saying is that IT IS, WHAT IT IS....Once you fuck up something that could've been good, there is NO turning back. I don't hate him, but I sure as hell don't care for him.

Why I write

So I constantly get asked why I write and what made me write. Well this picture explains it all.

I'm like a walking ball of fire at times.

I have a LOT going on in my head.

I usually keep it inside.

Sometimes I want to lash out but writing is better.

A good friend of mine suggested that I write down my thoughts and whatnot.

Thank you.

It has helped me tremendously.

As I write, it helps me forget.

You know...sort of like a diary.

It's something I can go back and reflect on.

So this is why I write...or TYPE lol.

:)